May 2011
28 posts
We've All Been Here Before! →
:)
Just gave a sixty year old couple my number. The mom tells me her daughter is moving to Chicago, might need a friend, and a job. That followed by a 30% tip. Good start to the night. :)
Credit Cards
I swear to god, I could kill the guy who makes me run his credit card four times on a $5 beer. Or the wench who doesn’t understand that when you run a credit card, sales tax apply. This making the tab a weird number like $5.55. No ass, I did not add .55 cents to your transaction just so I could rip you off. Or as some customers think “add” in my own tip. I have nothing to do...
“Where’s the party for Da Bulls tonight?”
“There’s a rumor, that Redbull will be banned from all bars by January 1,...”
“Been out of town people sorry I haven’t been as active lately…. mama...”
Guys say the DARNDEST things...
[last night around 12:30am]
Drunk Midget walks up to my bar with his posse. He seems confused and out of sorts. I’ve seen him in my establishment before, so I smile as though I know him… He says:
DM- Can I get two Kettle/Red Bulls
iB- Sure, here you go. $26 Dollars!
DM- Can I get two more.
iB- Sure, $52 please…..
DM- (talks to his friends to gather more money…so I...
“Hmmmm, I’ve noticed lately… White girls with fine black brothas. But...”
“Everyone is pissing me off tonight. Including you, sexy Asian man, who just left...”
“I’m so fuggin’ over the black eye peas song “I’ve had...”
Pardon Me?
If you order a drink, and I have to say “what” more than twice, it’s time you either pass the torch to your friend to order drinks or go to the doctor and get your balls sewn back on!
I cannot stand it when a handsome man orders a cocktail and all you see is his lips move but no sound comes out of his mouth. When this happens, I instantly think, “this asshole has no...
“Tirrrrrrrrred!”
“If I don’t make another margarita for a few days, I’ll be a happy...”
“Shit! Another reason to drink… happy cinco de mayo, innocent BARstander...”
Make It Rain!
Makin’ it Rain!
Why does it seem like four out of every five rap/hip hop songs is about, in some form or fashion, throwing money at, on, or near strippers? I think we oftentimes don’t analyze the lyrics of fun songs with an infectious beat, yet if one actually listens to the lyrical content, a large percentage of these tracks are referring to a “balla” spending large sums of money to watch a...
