March 2011
30 posts
You and I →
I love this song… especially, when I’m in a shitty mood behind the bar and this song comes on at midnight!
February 2011
23 posts
Can I get a water!
Customer: “Can I get a water?”
Me: “No, it’s after 10:00. Man up, and have a drink!”
Huge pet peeve is when people walk up to you and try grabbing your attention by waving their hands in your face, or better yet….yelling at you. For the record, I’m purposely ignoring you and quite frankly will serve you last because I just felt your hand touch my...
“Guy comes to the bar, and ask “can I get a hot chocolate and stoli...”
“NAME THE SINGER AND SONG….GO!
“Super Nintendo, Sega Genesis
When I...”
“Every man thinks he wants his freedom…that is, until he gets it. Then,...”
– Sherry Argov
Anonymous asked: Thong or boy shorts?
HELP!
can someone on tumblr help me post my blog on the "directory" page? im really confused how this sh*t works and I'm wanting to grow
No Tip...AGAIN!
The first time a person doesn’t tip on a cocktail I think to myself, “hmmm, maybe they will come back and tip me the second time when they have tasted and approved my drink.” When that person comes back, and again does NOT tip on their second drink….is when I start to get pissed!
Last night this bitch, her annoying boyfriend and some ugly couple with them, had four rounds...
Happy Friday Assholes!
“Well, you know boys,
A nuclear reactor is a lot like women.
You just have to...”
It's my birthday
The great thing about being a birthday bitch is everyone comes out to see you and no matter what you do or say no one can get mad at you. It’s like a free pass…
Can’t wait for tonight!
Check Please
Bitch at the bar: Ummm, honey! I need my tab right now.
Bartender: Do you remember who you opened your tab up with?
Batb: Umm, it was you!
Bartender: No, I don’t think so I don’t have any tabs open at the moment.
Batb: I know it was you. Figure it out. Here’s my ID. Make it happen, I need to go honey!!!
Bartender: Miss, my name is *&^, give me a second. [two...
LADIES N' GENTS...
It’s 30 degrees outside!!!
LADIES, take off your tights and put on your hottest pair of panties and bare your ass in that dress that’s actually made to be a shirt tonight. And, MEN… you don’t wear coats out anyway… so show some skin tonight and let’s all PRETEND 30 degrees weather is something to celebrate!!
whoohoo!
When I buy your drink....
that typically means. I think you are a great customer or I like you because you’re not a creeper. Therefore, the “I take care of you, you take care of me” quote becomes relevant.
If I bought your first drink, and you tip me $1.00 on a 2 hour visit. It not only makes my blood level rise, it makes me want to crawl over the bar and punch you! I think I’m going to...
“sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me!”
– Rhianna <3
Anonymous asked: Do you have a Twitter account? I love your blog. DNR
http://www.facebook.com/innocentBARstander →
DJ!!!!
Pretty standard situation, so I’ve been told…
DJ spinnin’…
Girl walk ups, or should I say “bounces” up. (I too might be familiar with the bounce)
Annoying Girl: Ummmm HI, (twirling of the hair, or batting of the eye lashes) Can you please please PLEASE play Katy Perry- Fireworks
DJ: I just played it an hour ago.
AG: I know but I just love that song and...
Cougars
In the urban dictionary a Cougar is described as “an older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man.” However, innocent BARstander’s definition of an older woman aka a Cougar is ”a bitchy thirty something year old woman who hates on younger women.”
Friday nights scenario:
I’m walking up to a recently opened establishment to meet...
WHO SAYS THAT!
Customer: I’m sorry what’s your name again?
Bartender: I don’t think I mentioned my name actually.
Customer: Ya, you didn’t. But, can I have your name so I can tell the door guy I know you and get into this place later?
Bartender: Ummm….Sure, my name is Bambi! (obviously, not my real name….)
What a jag-off!
“SHE “Why are her flowers bigger than mine?”
HE “They...”
– Cougar Town
Whose snowed in...
I’m currently snowed in and I can’t help but love every moment of it! I haven’t been invited to a house party more times in the past two days since college. I love how midwestern adults are really taking advantage of this free time.
People are “walking the streets,” having jam sessions in their apartments, and sledding outside my building. This is great! Although...